What is Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT)?
Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT) is a therapeutic approach developed by British psychologist Dr. Paul Gilbert in the 2000s. It is designed to help individuals develop self-compassion, regulate difficult emotions, and overcome self-criticism. By integrating principles from evolutionary psychology, cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), attachment theory, and Buddhist psychology, CFT helps people shift from self-judgment to inner kindness and emotional balance.
At its core, CFT teaches that many of our struggles—such as excessive guilt, shame, or self-criticism—come from how our brains evolved to prioritize survival over emotional well-being. This means that while we may logically know that we deserve kindness and rest, our nervous system might still react as if we are under threat, keeping us stuck in cycles of stress and self-judgment.
CFT and the Three Emotion Regulation Systems
One of the most important insights of CFT is that our emotional regulation is built on three main systems:
🔴 The Threat System – This system keeps us alert to danger. It activates fear, anxiety, and self-criticism in order to protect us. However, when overactive, it can lead to chronic stress and emotional exhaustion.
🟡 The Drive System – This system pushes us towards success, rewards, and achievement. It helps us set goals and stay motivated, but when out of balance, it can lead to perfectionism, burnout, and a constant feeling of “not being enough.”
🟢 The Soothing System – This system allows us to feel safe, calm, and connected. It is activated through self-compassion, social bonding, and moments of relaxation. Many people with high self-criticism have an underdeveloped soothing system, making it difficult to feel at peace, even when everything is going well.
Connecting CFT with Polyvagal Theory
CFT’s three emotion regulation systems align closely with Polyvagal Theory, developed by Dr. Stephen Porges, which explains how the autonomic nervous system (ANS) regulates our sense of safety and connection.
According to Polyvagal Theory, our nervous system is constantly scanning for threats or safety. It operates in three primary states:
🟥 Sympathetic Activation (Fight-or-Flight) → The Threat System
When we sense danger, our sympathetic nervous system prepares us for action—our heart rate increases, adrenaline pumps, and we feel anxious, angry, or on edge. This is directly connected to the Threat System in CFT.
🟨 Dorsal Vagal Shutdown (Freeze/Collapse) → The Overloaded Drive System
When stress becomes overwhelming, the dorsal vagal system shuts us down. We feel disconnected, unmotivated, or even numb—similar to when the Drive System becomes imbalanced and we burn out.
🟩 Ventral Vagal Activation (Safe & Connected) → The Soothing System
When we feel safe, understood, and connected, our ventral vagal system is engaged. This allows us to be present, creative, and emotionally balanced—exactly what CFT’s Soothing System aims to strengthen.
By combining CFT and Polyvagal Theory, we see that healing requires more than just cognitive understanding. It requires creating felt experiences of safety and connection, which allow the nervous system to regulate itself and shift from survival mode into self-compassion and emotional resilience.
CFT is not just a standalone therapy—it is part of a larger movement in psychology that recognizes connection as the foundation of healing. One of the leading voices expanding this work is Dr. Gabor Maté, a renowned expert in trauma, addiction, and mind-body health.
Dr. Maté is developing Compassionate Inquiry, a therapeutic method for therapists, coaches, and helpers that builds on the same principles as CFT while expanding them further. His approach starts from a fundamental insight:
“The primary suffering of humans is that they are disconnected—from themselves, their emotions, and their truth. The purpose of therapy is to bring them back into connection.”
Compassion-Focused Therapy shows us that the way forward is not through pushing ourselves harder, but through creating an inner environment of safety and kindness. This shift—from judgment to understanding, from pressure to presence—is the key to reconnecting with our true selves and living with greater freedom and authenticity.
If you’re ready to explore this journey with support and guidance, book your 30-minute consultation today and take the first step toward a more compassionate and connected life. 💛
Start With a Free 30-Minute Consultation
Choosing the right therapist is an important step in your journey. That’s why I offer a free 30-minute online consultation, where we can get to know each other and explore how I can support you. This session is an opportunity for you to:
✔ Share a little about what’s bringing you to therapy.
✔ Learn more about my approach and how I work.
✔ Ask any questions you might have.
✔ See if we are the right fit before committing to ongoing sessions.
We can have the session in English or Swenglish (Swedish mixed with English), as I am still developing my Swedish skills. The most important thing is that you feel comfortable expressing yourself in a way that feels natural to you.
There’s no pressure—just a safe, open space where we can connect and decide how to move forward together.
📅 Book your free consultation today and take the first step toward healing.
